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Archive for the ‘Positivity’ Category

My advice would be no… January can be the hardest month.   Grey days, overdrafts, low energy, more stuff and clutter to fit in at home.  January is the highest month for disatisfaction and the peak of divorce applications.     However many of us start the month with firm resolutions to change our lives.    I have heard recently “I am… detoxing/ joining a gym/ whitening my teeth”  the majority of people tend to focus on the external self to feel good.  To get lasting and continuious change I like to focus on the inner self.   Thoughts and beliefs to boost confidence and self esteem.    Without address your inner self all the best intentions and resolutions will result in the same behaviour patterns and then same results.    My 3 top tips for January….

1. Focus on what is good in your life – what are you thankful for and why…(friends, family, home, health etc)

2. What did you achieve in 2010?   For 2011 keep a note either weekly or monthly of your achievements it is a great motivator.

3. Going forward keep a file of thank you notes or emails of appreciation.   If you need a boost choose a mixture of 10 friends/family/colleagues send an email asking them what they perceive your 3 strengths or unique gifts to be.  It’s a wonderful eye opener.

Although January is a tough month it can be a refreshing time with hope for the year ahead.   For careers it is a time when the job market picks up and industry comes alive after the Christmas break.   Many new jobs are advertised and budgets change opening up opportunities for promotion. 

And finally if you really want to know how to change a behaviour or career direction get in contact.   I would be delighted to help you on the fast track to lasting success not just for January…. lynda@in-a.co.uk

Have a fabulous healthy and happy 2011.

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Last month the BBC on it’s “can pay will pay” radio programme last month asked many people from a range of backgrounds “How much do you earn…?”  Reactions that the reasearchers received were * astonishing glares *polite refusals * evasive generalities * embarassed sniggers and  *silence.   Many of us do not want to reveal what we earn by we would be interested in what others earn.    From Oct 1st the new Equality Act promotes transparency around pay. 

To learn how to gain more confidence on your:

1. Earnings and how to negotiate,

2. Net worth and how to grow it

3. Finances and make them work better

4. Knowledge about your money get in control and drive your plan

I would love to meet and encourage you with a great group of women on either Tuesday 16th Nov 9.30 am – 12.00 or Wednesday 17th Nov 7pm to 9.30pm

http://buildandsafeguardyourwealth.eventbrite.com/

Is pay the last taboo – inspired by Bracknell midweek news

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5:  Learn to negotiate – Most women need serious practise at asking for more money.  Remember, as long as you ask reasonably, your boss can only say no.  Don’t moan – argue for a rise on the basis of your performance.  Don’t threaten to resign if you don’t mean it.

6:  Be one step ahead – What objections will your boss have if you ask for more money?  Anticipate what will be said so that you have a good answer.

7:  Have a face-to-face – Ask to speak to your boss in person so you can both understand the situation and agree what can be done to change it.

8: Get some support – If a chat with your boss doesn’t work, talk to your female colleagues and gather support.  If you feel underpaid or undervalued, chances are others do too.  Lodge a complaint together.

9: Use the law – A trade union can help you fight for equal pay.  They’ll negotiate on your behalf and take legal action if necessary.

10: Be positive – Never apologise for asking for more money, believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself others will to.

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Here is your first insight to the first step you can take to be a professional wonder woman and keep your sanity.

Step 1: Have greater influence by becoming more self aware

I have seen so many talented people who are unable to achieve their potential because they do not know how to influence themselves and others.

There are some people we find very easy to communicate with and there are others who we feel constrained and uncomfortable with. 

Often we believe that it is the other person who should change.  This may be true but will not get results! 

The only way we can move a relationship forward is taking responsibility for the outcome ourselves.

When you know how to be in rapport with all people then your world changes dramatically.

Here are 6 straightforward actions that you can do now: 

  1. Write down what would be the best thing that anyone could say about you. 
  2. List 5 qualities that you like about yourself. 
  3. Ask 5 other people from each area of your life:  What 5 qualities do you think I have?” and “What are the two habits/behaviours that I could change which would make me more effective?” 
  4. From the responses write down the opposite positive word to the habits/ behaviours identified.  For example, the positive opposite of untidy/disorganised could be tidy/organised etc, and then write “I am” in front of each of the positive words.  Remind yourself daily, saying these positive statements to yourself. 
  5. Do something that will prove that you have this quality.  For example, if you chose confident, you may want to do something that you have been delaying, such as making a phone call, speaking up at a meeting or declining a request from someone.
  6. Just before you go to sleep, write down everything that you have done that you are proud of each day. 

I have many straightforward ways in my Home Study Guide that will show you how to gain more self awareness, know yourself and how to connect with others to gain more influence. 

There are 6 more insights to steps to help you.  Some steps will give you immediate results whilst others will build gradually for the ‘light bulb moment’ to shine.

People are like stained glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within”   Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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When we know the steps to take to be in control of our lives, our journey becomes exciting and wholesome.    Of course, we have times in our lives where difficulties or tragedies happen. I would love your response to be in any crisis, “OK, I can handle this”.

The metaphor I use for describing life is a picture of a tapestry.

The back is full of colour, knots and untidiness which represents, hard work, determination, challenges, commitment, a labour of love.  

The front is stunning, precise and beautiful, which represents a fulfilled, enriched and worthwhile life.

“The great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously as possible, to groom one’s curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb aboard, and gallop over the thick sun struck hills every day.  Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding, and despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours, life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length.  It began in mystery, and will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.”    – Diane Ackerman

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An inspiring day at Basingstoke College of Techonlogy where I was asked to open the event with a short pep talk.   The event was filled with many women from all ages and from a variety of different faith backgrounds and cultural heritage.  I enjoyed a Jamaican lunch and learnt about Islamic traditional  dress.   I have enjoyed coaching some of the wonderful women on interviewing techniques and confidence boosting.  Think about networking with other women – who can you inspire and encourage today…?

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When Florence Nightingale was asked what had been the motivating factor behind her immensely productive work in hospitals, she answered “Rage”. Quoted in Piero Ferrucci’s book “What We May Be”.

Using forceful energy for positive results can be very helpful.  I remember many times as I was climbing the career ladder in a male dominated business, I would be enraged by sexist comments.  The trick is to turn this rage into positive energy which gives a determination to succeed.  It often gives us the courage to say what we have been fearful to say.   Watch out though, if the rage is not controlled then we are likely to say things that we regret for ever.

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