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Archive for the ‘Body language’ Category

Step 1 – Clear your mind

Before having a conversation, think about the other person.  Ask yourself, “How can I connect fully with what this person is about to say.”   Keep your mind open, free from preconceived ideas or assumptions of what they might say.

Step 2 – Listen

Listen to the words they are using, their tone of voice and body language.  Concentrate on the messages they are conveying.   Skilful listening is critical in understanding what messages are being communicated.

Step 3 – Demonstrate that you understand

It is important to communicate that you understand what they have said and the messages they are portraying through their body language and tone of voice by repeating back some of their exact words.  Say something like, “That’s a really good point you made about….”

Step 4 – Find similarities

Bring into the conversation areas where you both see “eye to eye”, common themes, subjects or observations.

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“Remember no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 
Eleanor Roosevelt 1184-1962

When we wake up to appreciating all parts of ourselves and choosing which parts are appropriate to us, then we have choice.  What a fantastic feeling to know that we are in control of what happens to us.  Other people are no longer pulling the strings, determining our happiness, our mood or energy levels.

You can choose whether or not to be affected by other people.  Of course, if they give you happiness, energy and create a lovely atmosphere, then great.  Really value and appreciate these wonderful people. 

Follow this simple exercise to remind you that you can choose your reaction:

  1. Imagine that when people speak to you, there is an empty space in front of you that the words go into.
  2. Imagine that you have armour strapped to you covering your heart, chest and stomach area.  Visualise what this looks like.  What is it made of?  What colour is it?  This armour can prevent the words touching you.
  3. When someone speaks with you, imagine that their words cannot get inside of you unless you want them to.  This gives you choice and control.

If the words are sarcastic or hurtful in some way, then practice not reacting at all.  Not in body language or tone of voice.  Act as if you have not heard the words.  The other person then has no idea how you are reacting to their words.  Silence is very powerful in this situation. 

If you would like more tips and exercises please visit  http://www.leadatwork.com/homestudyguide.html and order your copy of my Home Study Guide – How to Become a Professional Wonder Woman and Keep Your Sanity.

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We can strengthen a positive and desired inner state.  Imagine that you are courageous:

  • How are you standing?
  • What are you thinking? 

Inside of you will now flow energies.  Remember that you are creating endorphins by positive thoughts that will naturally assist you.

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How we dress, what perfume we use, what jewellery we wear, what our body language is saying, all gives messages about ourselves.  First impressions are very important. 

I remember a young man who came for an interview.  He had all the skills and was a very talented person.  I gave him feedback and told him that the manager did not believe he would fit in because of the way he dressed.  He replied, “That’s not fair or just.”  I said, “You’re right, BUT you still didn’t get the job”.

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