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Archive for February, 2010

You may find this list helpful to examine the Habits that Work and those that do not.  This Checklist may help you get started

Checklist of habits that work

  • Looking for opportunities in everything you do and in everyone you meet
  • Appreciating yourself and appreciating others
  • Going the extra mile – pushing your boundaries
  • Getting around barriers
  • Feel the fear and doing it anyway!
  • Having a low tolerance for low pay
  • Finding role models who can teach you skills you lack
  • Willing to challenge beliefs that do not work for you and try a new way of being
  • Willing to trade comfort for a higher goal
  • Focusing on what you want
  • Willing to challenge the status quo
  • Putting your own needs into the equation
  • Writing down actions which will keep you on track

Checklist of habits that hinder

  • Blaming others or the system
  • Settling for less
  • Having a high tolerance for low pay
  • Believing that other people are more capable than yourself
  • Having low self esteem
  • Spending time on non-urgent, non-important things
  • Spending time concentrating on the inadequacies of others
  • Relying on others for what you want
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Often, we have not given any time to challenge our beliefs.  For example, if we smoke, we do not allow ourselves to really examine the reasons why we smoke and the damage it is doing to our bodies.  The answer from smokers may be:

  • I am too stressed to give up smoking
  • I can give up smoking but not yet
  • I like smoking
  • I have tried to give up but haven’t got the willpower
  • I don’t like other people telling me what to do
  • I don’t really believe that it is harmful
  • My grandfather lived to 100 and he smoked  

These types of reasons leave the person powerless to give up because there is no real conviction or will to give up smoking.  To change a belief or habit takes real conviction.

Other habits may not be as drastic to change although still harming our development. Our beliefs/habits need to be challenged if they are not working for us.

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Our habits are built on our belief system. Habits can either work for us or dis-empower us.  We seldom question our beliefs to check their accuracy.  We just assume that the way we see things is the truth.  

If we strongly believe that if we clean our teeth twice a day then we will preserve our teeth, it follows that we will get into the habit of cleaning our teeth twice a day.  The stronger the belief, the more conviction we have to carry out the habit. A big factor for people who stay stuck in boring and unfulfilled jobs is that they believe that they can’t do or find anything better.  To prevent them thinking differently they stay unfocussed, distracted and find lots of reasons why they can’t get out of their current situation. 

A habit that many women share is:  They will put themselves at the bottom of the list.  Everyone else comes before them.  What is the result?  Sometimes, built up resentment, burn out and sometimes illness – the body says, “I have had enough”.

It is so important to change this habit.  No-one really benefits when women feel taken for granted. We cannot feel happy and make others happy when there is in-built resentment.

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When Florence Nightingale was asked what had been the motivating factor behind her immensely productive work in hospitals, she answered “Rage”. Quoted in Piero Ferrucci’s book “What We May Be”.

Using forceful energy for positive results can be very helpful.  I remember many times as I was climbing the career ladder in a male dominated business, I would be enraged by sexist comments.  The trick is to turn this rage into positive energy which gives a determination to succeed.  It often gives us the courage to say what we have been fearful to say.   Watch out though, if the rage is not controlled then we are likely to say things that we regret for ever.

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I am looking forward to speaking to 158 women tonight in Wokingham on how to boost their inner confidence.  Tips on how to combat fear, negativity and self doubt.  It is a fund raiser for my grandaughter’s primary school.  We will be supported by lots of other lovely women who will be boosting outer confidence: an image consultant, pamper stations, reflexology and eyelash extensions.   It should be a great night!

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